It is with a heavy heart that I report the recent death of my father. You can read the official obituary at this link. I have a lot to say and a lot to write in the days and weeks to come. For now, in the video above, I’ll share the words that I said during his funeral service last week. For those who want to read the words, I’ll include the transcript below.
When thinking about my dad, there are three words that keep flashing back in my mind over the past few days. The first is “driven,” meaning driven to succeed. My father had a goal of coming to this country from the Philippines to find a better life. He left pretty much his entire family back in his homeland and was not even sure whether if he would return or when he would return. But he had that goal of coming to America for a better life. This was one of many qualities and one of the many lessons that I learned from him and has shaped my life.
He was also driven to beat this cancer. We don’t talk about it that much as a family, but he was diagnosed with the aggressive brain cancer called glioblastoma just a few weeks ago. I am a physician myself and I admit that I did not know much about this cancer other than it was a tough one to beat. However, my father was driven and always had hope that he would not only beat this cancer but he would get back to his life before cancer which included things like playing golf with his church buddies and also traveling the world with my mother.
The second word that keeps popping into my mind is the word “servant” meaning servant leader or giving service. My father gave service to this community as a surgeon for over 30 years. I remember that there were times that he took me to the hospital with him on his hospital rounds. But even though I was very young, I remember the kindness that he showed other people and the kindness that he received from his patients and from the people who work at the hospital. And just by watching him when I was a child, I learned a lot of skills that I use today both professionally and personally. My father was always a man of few words. However, he did have the gift of listening, listening to his patients, listening to people in the community, and listening to his family. I also learned skills like sympathy and empathy, skills that I have had to use especially during his own illness.
My father also was a servant leader to the Filipino community who welcomed him to Youngstown about 50 years ago. Officially, he was one of the first elected leaders of the Filipino American Organization of Northeastern Ohio. In later years, he really grew into the role of an elder statesman in the Filipino community in Youngstown, still always attending the Filipino meetings and parties.
He was also a leader here at St. Christine Church. I would remember seeing some conversations between my father and people like Dr. Cuttica [deacon at church], and the church leaders at the time. One of his favorite groups was the church golf league which he enjoyed every year and was able to grow many friendships through their fellowship in the Church and through their love of the game of golf. I remember many stories of dad and his “golf buddies.”
The final word that keeps coming into my mind is simply the word “love.” I remember talking to my dad about coming to the United States. He loves this country so much the he went through the process of becoming a citizen of the United States, and I was either in grade school or high school at the time, but I remember both mom and dad being very proud about going through the process to become naturalized citizens of the United States. Following this, when he would make trips to the Philippines or when he was doing his world traveling with mom, he would always have a smile on his face going through customs probably showing his United States passport.
Also, when I think about love, I think about my dad’s love of life. Even in my early impressions and memories of dad, he would always be the life of the party at Filipino gathering and other events. I’ve been told that I inherited my father’s very infectious laugh, which I also learned from those Filipino parties when everyone would gather together and tell stories and tell jokes and just have a lot of fun.
My dad also loved to dance, whether it was showcasing traditional Filipino dancing, or even popular dances with my mom like the boogie-woogie or even line dancing. My dad also had this love of karaoke and I remember times recently when our family would get together for really bad karaoke, but this would bring a smile to my father’s face.
Which leads me to my last point which is his love of family, our family. Especially in the past few weeks where he had difficulty expressing himself because of the cancer, we were able to understand that he still loved his family and wanted to provide for his family, even though physically he was unable to fully express this. Even to the end, he was a provider for us, someone who watched over us. Now, he watches us from above. Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and Thanksgiving will never be the same to me. But, I’m thankful to God for the time that he gave us with dad. I love you dad, and I’ll miss you….