Throughout those four days, I had this eerie feeling in the back of my mind. I kind of knew that this would be my last meeting after 10 years being such a constant in my life. Why? Well, from a practical standpoint, my work schedule is just too busy now. And, from an emotional standpoint, I knew it was time -- time to move on. As I left the hotel for the last time going to the airport, I felt the transition pass through me.
When I was a teenager going to summer camp, there would always be a group of people in their 20s and 30s who really didn't fit in with the rest of the group. All they would talk about is "the old days" when they were campers. To be honest, I felt sorry for these people, even as a young lad. They revolved their entire life around going to summer camp. Maybe I'm being too harsh and judgemental, but there has to be more to life than summer camp, right?
I just did not want to be one of "those people" coming back to this annual summer medical student meeting year after year after year. Most of my peers have moved on taken on careers of their own. I don't even see them that much anymore. Also, relating to medical students is not as easy as it used to be -- as I get further and further away from my own days in med school. I remember making a reference to movies and music when I was in school and I got these shocked looks as if I was an ancient person -- reality check for me.
So, beginning on that plane ride home, in addition to dealing with my physical exhaustion of partying too much, it hit me that I am in the midst of a major professional and personal transition in my life. That saddened me.
About 12 hours after my plane landed, I was faced with the reality of being on-call. And, you know how busy on-call is for me -- I've talked about it before. It took me a few days to try to catch up from the work when I was off. As soon as that happened, I was on call that weekend.
So, the first 15 days of this month were difficult for me on a lot of different levels. I don't say this to gain sympathy, as I know that there are many people in this world with worse problems than this. It's just that in the ebb and flow of life, there are certain bridges that one must cross and this is one of them.